On giving advice to people in internet forums

Here’s an old story from the internet on why you shouldn’t bother giving advice in the first place…


OP: “Help! HELP! I’m stuck in a well!!!”

Biggies 1-4: “Climb! Climb up and take our hands!”

OP: “I’m thinking I should dig… should I dig?”

Biggie 5: “NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!”

Biggies 6-8: “We’re lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!”

Biggie 9: “I’ve even tied a harness to the end of this one!”

OP: “I can feel the ropes, but I don’t want to hold onto them… should I dig?”

Biggie 10: “No! If you dig, you’ll hit water, and then you’ll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned.”

OP: “I dug a little bit just now, and I haven’t hit water. I’m gonna keep digging…”

Biggies 11-18: “No! Climb! Climb out!”

OP: “Guys, I’m seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!”

Biggie 19: “I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I’m dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches.”

Biggie 20: “I’ve engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we’ll lower it down!””

OP: “Thanks for your help, guys. I’m gonna keep digging. I’ll find the Mines of Moria and I’ll just walk to the surface.”

**Biggies 1-20 piss in the well**

Biggie 21: “Guys, seriously… stop pissing in the well.”


My first Porsche…

This year I’ve become middle-aged and as I am a man who has money in greater measure than sense I’ve decided to treat myself to a Porsche… Design pipe, model 909 in black to be precise.

Porsche Design 909 Pipe in Black

It really is a lovely piece of work. The “fins” on the bowl are (by design) reminescent of the fins on an air-cooled engine, which as all petrol-heads know is what Porsche really built its reputation on.

Don’t its ultra-modern exterior fool you into thinking that this is made of some experimental material: Porsche design pipes are made of good, tried-and-true briar. It’s a fairly large and heavy pipe; I really don’t feel comfortable holding it with my teeth alone while I smoke, for fear of cracking the stem. It’s definitely a pipe made more for a pipe smoker of experience; smoke this too quickly and the bottom of the bowl will get quite warm, although not enough to burn you of course. In that sense I guess I could see it as a pipe which reinforces slower and calmer smoking habits. Besides that, well, just look at it. I am pleased as Punch with my purchase.

Porsche Design makes four models of pipe, two straight-stems  (one with a round bottom and the other square) and two curved-stems. The sticker price on all models in the range is in the mid-400s, although you will find new ones on Ebay for a lot less. They are available in two wood tones, two titanium schemes, and two black versions (the Spirit version has gold metal rings at the stem instead of silver). It’s definitely an excellent addition to one’s pipe-rack.