Pentagon at work on information system which makes Carnivore look like a mere nibbler.

Pentagon at work on information system which makes Carnivore look like a mere nibbler. There’s nothing sinister about that. Nothing at all. No siree. In fact it doesn’t exist, and neither does TIA. And what’s that carnivore you keep mentioning? Never heard of that. For a body that’s into extreme data mining they sure seem to think the public can’t remember their past initiatives…

Yet another Tomb Raider game coming.

Yet another Tomb Raider game coming. How far can absurdly large boobies carry a franchise? You’d be surprised… oh wait, actually you wouldn’t be surprised at all.

In the spirit of the newly-heightened state of terror alert, a few messages from the DHS.

In the spirit of the newly-heightened state of terror alert, a few messages from the DHS. OK, not really, but messages from the real DHS aren’t too far from these.

US terrorism threat level raised to orange again.

US terrorism threat level raised to orange again. Dubya’s poll numbers must be down these days…

James Bond says: ‘Guns and planes don’t mix’.

James Bond says: ‘Guns and planes don’t mix’. An experience that could leave you shaken if not stirred…

Stolen Van Gogh found behind a toilet now back on gallery walls.

Stolen Van Gogh found behind a toilet now back on gallery walls. Thankfully art criticism is only rarely that harsh.

Eurovision directors fear a Tatu lesbian stunt onstage.

Eurovision directors fear a Tatu lesbian stunt onstage. It would be a, er, cunning stunt? Seriously, I keep hearing a lot of things about Tatu, including a yet-unconfirmed rumor that they actually sing sometimes.

British MPs try and ‘rehabilitate’ former Defence Minister John Profumo, 40 years after his resignation.

British MPs try and ‘rehabilitate’ former Defence Minister John Profumo, 40 years after his resignation. We say, SCANDAL! Seriously though, at least he’s not going to argue with his peers over what the meaning of the word “is” is…

Syria really is harboring Iraqi fugitives after all.

Syria really is harboring Iraqi fugitives after all. In related news, water is found to be wet.

Coca-Cola accused of deception.

Coca-Cola accused of deception. And it’s not even about Coca-Cola containing no coca!