Category: Funny

A song about Jeffrey Epstein

I ain’t no songwriter, me. However this idea popped up in my head to make a song about the Jeffrey Epstein story, and even without using the word Trump at any point! Because, well, Epstein hosted pretty much everyone in the Who’s Who of high society. I purposely composed this to be sung to the tune of The Village People’s YMCA, a song hilariously co-opted by Trump. I’ve only done one stanza and the refrain so far so feel free to contribute in the comments!

JEFF (to the tune of YMCA)

[Stanza]

RICH MAN, there’s no need to feel down, I say
RICH MAN, you want to screw around, I say
RICH MAN, don’t you fear getting found
While you’re raping tons of young girls

RICH MAN, there’s a guy you should know, I said
RICH MAN, you can even bring blow, you can
Stay there in the lap of luxury
But smile for a pic with Jeffrey!

[Chorus]

It’s time to go and see J-E-F-F
It’s time to go and see J-E-F-F
You don’t need no flowers,
You don’t need no pearls
You can hang out with all the girls…

 

It’s time to admit I overestimated humanity

Does the internet make people stupid? I mean, it seems like a silly idea. After all the internet gives you instant access to the entire knowledge of the world (along with a whole lot of BS) so surely that can’t be a bad thing… well, after seeing this screenshot I am not so sure.

A person on the internet asking if ramadan is a new tiktok challenge

Clown shoes for less!

If you’ve suffered brain damage and would like to get a pair of those revolting gold sneakers Don the Con is selling, may we recommend that you save a few bucks by buying them at the same place Donald himself did before he stuck a “T” emblem on the side, and that place is Alibaba. The price? Less than $50, with volume discounts available, a savings of $350 per pair.

Men’s Shoes Custom Sneakers Never Surrender High Top Sneaker for Men Design Walking Style Genuine Leather Gold Shoe Sneaker 2024 (alibaba)

How I am Better than Donald Trump

I managed to get put in Twitter jail for saying that a politician in the USA who falsely claimed to be a combat veteran “rode into town on Stolen Valor and should be railroaded out with tar & feathers”. Anyone with two or more working neurons would take that to mean “he tried to capitalize on lies about military service and he should be roundly shamed and ridiculed”, but clearly Twitter’s staff does not have such a luxury of neurons.

Donald Trump basically had to completely ignore the service’s ToS and repeatedly violate it for years to get such treatment, and I did it just by making a simple joke while sitting at home. That’s how I am better than Donald Trump.

Of course there’s also the whole thing about me not being a misogynistic, racist con man with a history of defrauding charities, *very* close friendship with sexual predators and over 30 sexual assault allegations. But today I’m just concentrating on how I’m better at getting my Twitter account suspended.