US children’s entertainment mogul on the verge of putting in a bid for ITV.

US children’s entertainment mogul on the verge of putting in a bid for ITV. UK television programming to lose substance, gain Barney.

Fat-friendly resort opens in Mexico.

Fat-friendly resort opens in Mexico. Geologists pondering new wave of earthquakes on the west coast.

Forfeiture laws cause DEA to hit the jackpot.

Forfeiture laws cause DEA to hit the jackpot. The next operation will involve planting a kilo of angel dust somewhere on Bill Gates’s estate.

Are we just scaring ourselves to death with this terrorism business?

Are we just scaring ourselves to death with this terrorism business? Time for a sanity check.

SOS — Students for an Orwellian Society.

SOS — Students for an Orwellian Society. Finally, satire worthy of the tradition.

Learning to love Big Brother.

Learning to love Big Brother. We have always been at war with [insert name here].

The iSync fiasco didn’t have to happen.

The iSync fiasco didn’t have to happen. Bluetooth leaving you feeling, er, blue?

Internet Explorer has ‘a number of security issues’.

Internet Explorer has ‘a number of security issues’. Tell us something we don’t know, sherlock… that’s why I use Mozilla on all my systems, and so should you.

With this thing in your driveway you can call your neighbor with a Hummer an amateur.

With this thing in your driveway you can call your neighbor with a Hummer an amateur. Tear gas not included.

In the market for an aircraft carrier?

In the market for an aircraft carrier? I’d put in a bid, but I wouldn’t know where to put the thing.