Some people say that my writing here is generally of a negative nature. I have to agree with that. Contentment is a very poor motivator for writing, in that it provides neither a compelling reason to write nor a lot to say. I like strawberries, and I was quite happy that up until a couple of weeks ago I was able to get good strawberries at my local grocery store — but I don’t think I could say much more than that about it, certainly nothing which wouldn’t bore the hell out of the reader.
Anger and anxiety are much more fertile grounds for new writing, which then serves two purposes: it’s fairly therapeutic because you’re getting a bad experience out of your system, and it often also serves as a warning to others. So, be forwarned: UPS sucks. Don’t use UPS to ship stuff, because they don’t seem able to keep the ‘delivering the package’ promise.
I reached the “last straw” stage with UPS last week. I bought a used server on eBay so I could host this site on a more stable platform; I haven’t been impressed with my provider recently, and have found myself having to log into the server and restart Apache way too often. That’s another story though. The seller only uses UPS Ground, so I didn’t really have a choice in the matter anyway.
So I paid the seller and my stuff got on its way to me. It’s ground transport, so I knew it’d be a while in transit. 9 days later the server had made it to Montreal, and was supposedly on its way to me. You can imagine where this is going, I’m sure.
Previously I had tried to get the shipment held at the sorting center because I knew I wouldn’t be there on delivery day. That’s pretty easy to figure out why: I have a job. That’s what enables me to buy stuff like servers. The service person replied that they had to try and deliver the item first, so I already knew that additional delays were in store.
The server was put in a truck for delivery on a Friday. Of course I didn’t get it that day. What I found strange was the note that said that my apartment block “was closed.” That’s peculiar. Apartment blocks don’t “close” after business hours. People live there. Additionally I remembered that a similar message appeared in the delivery status message the last time I had tried to get something delivered by UPS.
What’s more, there was no delivery notification sticker to be found for me when I got home. Not inside and not outside. Same thing with the failed delivery from earlier in the year.
So in fact UPS never even made it to my place. They went somewhere else. I live in a large apartment complex whose address is clearly visible from the street. You’d pretty much have to be blind to miss it (or, evidently, a UPS employee).
It gets better though. On the Friday I emailed UPS customer “service” to ask them to hold the package at the sorting station so I could go get it, because frankly I didn’t have much faith in UPS actually managing to deliver the damn thing. I then also asked how it was possible to miss my building, which is located on a well-known street downtown. I never did get an answer to that last one, and in the end the email wasn’t even read until Monday. That’s right folks, “customer service” is strictly a weekday thing at UPS. By the time the damn thing got read I’d already called UPS on the phone to get the shipment held, but of course by then it was too late because the package was supposedly out for delivery. Again the UPS guy completely missed my building, which didn’t even surprise me. Yet another wasted day waiting for the hardware. Had they been a little more responsive to my original request I would have had the thing in hand since the previous Friday. That’s yet another one of those things that Brown can’t do for you.
Can’t hold a package at the sorting station, can’t f*cking read customer service email on the weekend, hell, they can’t even deliver a bloody package. It’s not much of a delivery company, now, is it. What the f*ck am I paying these clowns for?
And pay I did, in spades. Shipment paid to the seller amounted to $67 US. Even without counting the wasted time, I also had to pay another $106 (CAD) to actually retrieve the package, $51 of which were taxes. That adds up to nearly $150 CAD paid for delivery of a package that never even got delivered. Now that’s a steal. Literally. I paid again 1/3 of the cost of the item purchased for a delivery that never happened. Here’s an even better one for you: $51 was charged to me for customs brokerage. You know where that brokerage supposedly takes place? At the very UPS sorting station where I had to go to pick up the f*cking package. So, in fact, I paid that $51 (plus tax!) for absolutely nothing.
That’s why UPS sucks. That’s why I’ll never give UPS another f*cking cent. That’s also why I will no longer do business with any company that does not offer a UPS-free way of getting my package. I’m a geek with a job, which means that I like to buy electronics, to a much greater degree than most people. I just won’t be buying them from a UPS-only retailer. Seriously, when you fuck things up this badly, you don’t deserve yet another chance.