The Googlebot.

Here’s a little story I came up with while reading this XKCD entry and noticing the “sinister Google projects” item… it’s based on an old joke everyone in IT already knows, but I just figured I’d flesh it out a bit. Technically I published it on reddit first, but it is my story! Continue reading “The Googlebot.”

Halo 2 for PC: part 1, the ugly.

I’ve been looking forward to playing Halo 2 for a while now. Not being as much of a gamer as I once was I’ve decided to skip this current generation of consoles — when they’re available at all they’re quite expensive, and the console game prices are just insane. I have no desire to spend $500 just so that I can spend a further $60-$70 PER GAME in order to have fun and relax. I mean, there are limits. So, to play Halo 2, I had to wait for the PC version to come out, and I just bought it earlier tonight. Well, I haven’t even played yet, and it’s proving exceedingly annoying already. Why? Because it’s made by a company whose motto is “you’ll bloody well do what we tell you and sign up for what we tell you to sign up for and you’ll like it.”

Continue reading “Halo 2 for PC: part 1, the ugly.”

So, how did the other 94 reach their decision?!?

Only 6 Senators out of 100 read the National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq released two days before the Iraq war authorization vote. Just 6. And one of them urged all the other Senators to vote against the war, quite strongly. If you’re wondering why US foreign policy seems so bollocksed-up, well, that’s because Congressmen are evidently too used to signing blank checks to even read a document that’s less than 100 pages long.

That’s how valuable ‘developers, developers, developers, developers’ really are to Microsoft.

Microsoft threatens its ‘Most Valuable Professional’ for writing a tool that supports Visual Studio Express. Rarely has a company done so much to threaten someone who seems to believe in it… or at least did, before Redmond released the hounds. I guess that monkey dance really was just a monkey dance…

‘We should enjoy our Coca-Cola while we still can…’

Dana Milbank covers the press conference by Khartoum Karl. How Milbank manages not to laugh in this report is beyond me…

As little Timmy’s eyes closed he hugged his teddy bear closer and realized that he had finally come to love Big Brother.

Wireless TeddyCam. It’s only a shame that they stopped the idea short; combine this thing with a wifi transmitter in the (plugged-in) base station and you have some fantastic potential for major perv flicks.

It’s easy for Microsoft to look good on paper. In the real world it’s a tougher challenge.

Microsoft manages to look good by using license terms to suppress negative reports about its products. You’re free to review the product… if you reach a conclusion that’s been approved by marketing! Think about that the next time someone makes you read some bullshit fawning ‘review’ that concludes that Windows has a lower TCO than Linux.

At least it’s not crap-brown…

Apple TV as much of a dud as the Microsoft Zune. Apparently both products are as poorly-conceived and half-assed in execution. Still the Apple TV does make an elegant sushi platter! In fact it’s so poorly-marketed and under-hyped that I was under the impression it wasn’t available yet. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to wait a little longer before someone gives me a reason to switch on the TV again.

How heartless is YOUR power company?

NZ woman needs respirator. Mercury Power (of NZ) cuts off her power. Woman dies. Mercury Power was even aware of the situation when they cut off the power. Seriously, those Mercury folks are one set of twisted freaks.

I couldn’t help thinking, what a brilliant idea!

Sushi bar. A tourist places a video camera on the conveyor belt of a Tokyo sushi bar. Now why didn’t I think of that when I was there?