The Clever Shark

I must live in the twilight zone! I seem to have no end of problems getting things delivered to my residential address in downtown Montreal. At first I thought it was just UPS drivers doing a poor job, but I just learned that an Amazon package shipped via Canada Post has been returned as “undeliverable” as well, despite my address being correct AND my having confirmed this information on the phone with Canada Post last week.

How hard is it to deliver a package? Evidently a lot harder than I previously thought!

Another risk of clinical drug trials: you could catch TB from your fellow participants. This is pretty creepy too. Makes you wonder how they evaluate one’s fitness to participate in said trials, doesn’t it.

New LED bras lift, separate your message to the world. She may say “my eyes are up here” but the shiny red lights say “hey, don’t stop paying attention to me!”

What can happen during those clinical drug tests people can sign up for? You could be critically ill and at death’s door with a grotesquely-swollen body within hours. It’s definitely food for thought.

Capsaicin may play a role in fighting prostate cancer. Capsaicin, for those who don’t know, is the ingredient in hot peppers that make them hot. So apparently the best way to ward off prostate cancer is to eat everything with hot sauce and choke the chicken regularly. Looks like my generation will be making prostate cancer a thing of the past…

Arizona man arrested for attempted sheep-shagging. Some people say he was stressed out from his job as a fire official, but I say he’s just a baaaaad man desperate to get closer to ewe. Don’t let anyone pull the wool over your eyes, I say.

Gonzales: we don’t torture. Which is to say that we’ve defined ‘torture’ as whatever it is we don’t do. I think he’s lying to the world just like the rest of the gang of thugs in the Bush administration, but I think the only way to prove this would be to waterboard him and deprive him of sleep for a couple of weeks.

Pensez-vous que vous payez de plus en plus de taxes alors que les entreprises en paient de moins en moins? Eh bien vous avez entièrement raison.

In the US, if you pay down ‘too much’ of your credit card balance you’ll raise the attention of the Department of Homeland Security. I guess patriotic Americans are expected to pile up more debts instead?

America finds a biological weapon, also known as a weapon of mass destruction (WMD). The twist? they found it in America. In Texas, to be precise.