What next, Microsoft going all ‘BSD license’ on us?

RumorMill: Sun will open-source Java under the GPL. If I were you I’d look for signs of hell freezing over, or cats and dogs living together.

It’s like the story of my ex who couldn’t fly because she always lugged a pair of 38s along wherever she went.

UK airport ‘security’: it’s illegal to wear clothing that features a print of a gun on it. Even a bright pink outline. The reasoning behind this is… er… ah, fuck it, there IS no reasoning behind airport security nowadays, just largely-otherwise-unemployable, untrained or poorly-trained idiots given a list of things to watch for and discharging their duties without the risk of actual thought being involved in the process.

This is why you don’t trust general mechanics with exotic cars.

Man drops off Lotus Elise at Goodyear shop for a tire change. Goodyear shop drops the car off the lift. I smell a lawsuit in the shop owner’s future. Seriously though, it hurts just to see that, and I don’t even own a car…

To boldly go where no linux distro has gone before!

Damn Vulnerable Linux. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Microsoft started making a linux distribution, wonder no more!

Exit polls are unusually accurate everywhere in the world, except in Republican-land.

GOP says “beware exit polls!” One has to wonder why they’re going to such lengths to discredit polls they can’t possibly have seen yet. It’s hard to figure out the purpose behind these bizarre announcements. You see, usually a political party will want to downplay any lead it has in the polls because that tends to discourage voters from showing up; yet the Republicans are saying “we’re doing a lot better than you think”. Of course that doesn’t matter if real votes aren’t getting counted.

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Sometimes at night I like to close my eyes and think about what it would be like if, when I opened them again, things were as they used to be before… as if everything since had been but a really long drawn-out dream.

But then I open my eyes and I’m definitely still in the here-and-now.

See, that’s what happens when you can’t deliver on time…

Fedex cancels A380 order. They’re opting for 777s instead after Airbus accumulates delays; UPS, on the other hand, will be keeping the planes, because as we all know it doesn’t matter to UPS when or even if the package ever gets there anyway…

You know, with all this moronic shit and the DHS’s well-known massive incompetence, you’re better off avoiding the USA altogether.

New regulations will require passengers to/from the USA to be “cleared” before they’re allowed to enter a plane that might cross US airspace, even if they’re leaving. No-fly lists were such a rousing success that the DHS is expanding on the concept! Now if someone could only hack the names “george bush” and “kip hawley” into the no-fly list the world would be better protected from stupidity.

Random death and dismemberment that can occur years after hostilities are just so much more fun!

US, UK trying to destroy anti-cluster-bomb pact. Given the fact that their munitions stand a 25% chance of not exploding when they’re used, but rather stay on the ground waiting for some kid to get himself killed or maimed when he picks it up thinking it’s a toy, can there be a civilized excuse for cluster bombs? I don’t think so. The world doesn’t think so. But Tony Blair and Dick Cheney George W. Bush do. It’s no surprise that this unholy alliance is seen as a major threat to world peace.

O King George we beseech that you and your pretorian guards protect us from these n******!

Vote Republican or black men will rape your white women! It doesn’t say that in words — a picture is much more powerful. And repugnant. In a move that makes you smell their desperation all the way from Canada the GOP appeals to the white supremacist vote in New York state, but you know, somehow I don’t think the KKK strays very far from the Republican party comes election time anyway.