The Clever Shark

Here’s an old story from the internet on why you shouldn’t bother giving advice in the first place…

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OP: “Help! HELP! I’m stuck in a well!!!”

Biggies 1-4: “Climb! Climb up and take our hands!”

OP: “I’m thinking I should dig… should I dig?”

Biggie 5: “NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!”

Biggies 6-8: “We’re lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!”

Biggie 9: “I’ve even tied a harness to the end of this one!”

OP: “I can feel the ropes, but I don’t want to hold onto them… should I dig?”

Biggie 10: “No! If you dig, you’ll hit water, and then you’ll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned.”

OP: “I dug a little bit just now, and I haven’t hit water. I’m gonna keep digging…”

Biggies 11-18: “No! Climb! Climb out!”

OP: “Guys, I’m seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!”

Biggie 19: “I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I’m dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches.”

Biggie 20: “I’ve engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we’ll lower it down!”"

OP: “Thanks for your help, guys. I’m gonna keep digging. I’ll find the Mines of Moria and I’ll just walk to the surface.”

**Biggies 1-20 piss in the well**

Biggie 21: “Guys, seriously… stop pissing in the well.”

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This year I’ve become middle-aged and as I am a man who has money in greater measure than sense I’ve decided to treat myself to a Porsche… Design pipe, model 909 in black to be precise.

It really is a lovely piece of work. The “fins” on the bowl are (by design) reminescent of the fins on an air-cooled engine, which as all petrol-heads know is what Porsche really built its reputation on.

Don’t its ultra-modern exterior fool you into thinking that this is made of some experimental material: Porsche design pipes are made of good, tried-and-true briar. It’s a fairly large and heavy pipe; I really don’t feel comfortable holding it with my teeth alone while I smoke, for fear of cracking the stem. It’s definitely a pipe made more for a pipe smoker of experience; smoke this too quickly and the bottom of the bowl will get quite warm, although not enough to burn you of course. In that sense I guess I could see it as a pipe which reinforces slower and calmer smoking habits. Besides that, well, just look at it. I am pleased as Punch with my purchase.

Porsche Design makes four models of pipe, two straight-stems  (one with a round bottom and the other square) and two curved-stems. The sticker price on all models in the range is in the mid-400s, although you will find new ones on Ebay for a lot less. They are available in two wood tones, two titanium schemes, and two black versions (the Spirit version has gold metal rings at the stem instead of silver). It’s definitely an excellent addition to one’s pipe-rack.

…because the reality is over 10 times worse than what was made public at the time. In fact a total of $7.7 trillion in loan guarantees and lending limits were issued by the Fed, which makes TARP seem like a trifle in comparison.

That is all.

 Y U NO CALL CUSTOMER WHEN ORDER IS READY?

Angry Birds is a fun little game, but effectively what you have are a bunch of birds that successively commit terroristic suicide attacks on the pigs who have stolen their eggs.

Mao’s Last Revolution by Roderick MacFarquhar and Michael Schoenhals. An extremely interesting book that focuses on Mao’s Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution between 1966 and 1976.

The Private Life of Chairman Mao By Dr. Li Zhisui, who was the Chairman’s personal doctor from 1954 all the way to his death in 1976. A fascinating insider’s view into the Mao the man and into the politics that ruled China during the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution.

Back from the Brink, a political memoir by Labour Chancellor Alistair Darling. It’s a bit of a break from reading about events in which millions perish and millions more are horribly tortured…

Survival in the Killing Fields by Haing Ngor, whom some of you may remember as the actor who played journalist Dith Pran in The Killing Fields. A vivid first-person account of what it was like to live in Cambodia before and during the infamous era of the Khmer Rouge, during which some 25% of the country’s population was killed.