In related news, the makers of Dave’s Insanity announced that they’re now a pharmaceutical firm.

Capsaicin may play a role in fighting prostate cancer. Capsaicin, for those who don’t know, is the ingredient in hot peppers that make them hot. So apparently the best way to ward off prostate cancer is to eat everything with hot sauce and choke the chicken regularly. Looks like my generation will be making prostate cancer a thing of the past…

That sound you hear is Joseph Heller spinning in his grave.

Gonzales: we don’t torture. Which is to say that we’ve defined ‘torture’ as whatever it is we don’t do. I think he’s lying to the world just like the rest of the gang of thugs in the Bush administration, but I think the only way to prove this would be to waterboard him and deprive him of sleep for a couple of weeks.