The vagaries of IT work

Up until today I was pretty sure that I would never hate an IT product as much as I hate IBM WebSphere, but I think we have a new winner: SAP Netweaver v7. Just installing the damn thing is like trying to thread a needle while someone is stabbing you repeatedly in the face, and every time you look at him for guidance he says “nuh-huh, no hints!” Oh, and it can *only* use a version of Java that Sun has already announced is EOL’d. Literally your JVM must be between 1.4.2_08 and 1.5.0, exclusive. Why is “bloody impossible to get going” become a positive attribute for computer systems in the past few years?.. When has that become a good thing?

Second Strike.

So, how do you repair your public image after an interview in which you praise Hitler? You blame the Jews for the financial crisis, that’s how. At least that’s how it works in Bernie Ecclestone’s mind. Seriously, this guy just doesn’t get it. But there’s a chance that something positive will fall out from this — I don’t see how he’s going to be able to remain at the head of the FIA for very long if he keeps up the Prince Philip act. Even now he’s had to cancel his personal appearance at the formal opening of this weekend’s German Grand Prix and who knows how many other races he won’t be welcome at.

Rules.

There aren’t many absolute rules to life; to each rule there seems to be an exception, with the notable exception of this one: if you’re a controversial public figure and an associate of Max Mosley, and you’re talking with reporters, you should never, ever say anything that even sounds like “Hitler was a man who could get things done.” In fact unless you’re a historian any discussion involving Hitler probably doesn’t belong in an interview. Can we at least agree on this?

Now that’s some serious souvenir money.

The sports world is abuzz with Cristiano Ronaldo’s acquisition by Real Madrid for a record-setting 96 million Euro transfer fee, but I think the real important story of the day is the capture of two Japanese citizens in Italy who were bound for Switzerland with $134 billion in possibly-counterfeit US securities in $500M and $1B denominations.

Interesting how this story keeps getting blacked-out in the mainstream press, don’t you think? Methinks I detect Kim Jong-Il’s hand in this. North Korea has been turning out high-quality counterfeit US money for over a decade, and it was only a matter of time before they started working on the really valuable stuff. Still, it’s only speculation at this point. Still, is anyone in the market for shady $500M US bonds?..

Is the greenback collapsing?

Here’s something that’s relatively easy to miss in these hard economic times where importing things from the US had become a luxury once again — there has been a sharp but sustained drop in the value of the US dollar recently. It’s fairly dramatic, too — in the past 3 months the value of the Canadian dollar has gone from $.77 to$ .92 US. That’s almost a 20% rise in the space of a quarter.

There isn’t really anything currently going on in Canada to warrant this sort of price movement, and indeed much the same story is revealed when looking up the relative values of the Euro and the Pound; even the Japanese yen is appreciating despite the plethora of political and economic bad news coming from Tokyo.

Nope — this is not about other currencies appreciating. This is about the USD tanking, and a low dollar means that Americans will spend more for the imports on which their economy depends. This heralds the onset of inflation in the American market. If Americans think they’ve had it tough since October, they’re in for a rude awakening.

Words fail me…

Maybe I wasn’t following the news at the time because I really would have remembered this, but earlier in the 2000s it seems that German industrial giant Siemens had plans to use the name “Zyklon” for a range of products that was slated to include gas ovens, which is incredibly tasteless considering the history of the company. Think about that for a moment. Were they going to use the swastika as a logo for this brand?..

White Bag Doritos

Has anyone else picked up those new Doritos in the white bag with the dollar sign on it and thinks that they taste about the same as the original nacho-cheese flavor? Honestly, there’s either no difference at all and that contest they have is a big joke, or the difference is so subtle that it would be completely lost on the usual late-night-munchies crowd.

How NOT to do public relations.

First, spot a blogger who finds a relatively minor, non-critical bug in your web site. Second, make sure some of your staff insult him personally and call him a liar, and make sure they do so from their office computers (read the comments on that first link). Third, have your PR department make a statement that bloggers are idiots and lunatics. Fourth… profit?

Ryanair seems like one place left in this world where PR men still enjoy their three-martini lunch!

A way to find Osama bin Laden

  1. Post simulated video of Osama bin Laden abusing a cat
  2. Profit!

The age of “no comments” has come…

Unfortunately I seem to be under attack by spamming scum using a botnet, so I’ve had to turn off comments altogether… that’s my explanation in case someone notices (LOL).